


Total Eclipse

by Daydreamer



Series: The Healing Of Hearts [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, M/M, Medical, Sappy, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 09:28:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreamer/pseuds/Daydreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A call into the suicide crisis hotline where Naruto works goes wrong and suddenly Naruto cannot help but wonder if Sasuke would be better off without him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kellerkind](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kellerkind).



> Set a short time before "The Gift". Written for Kellerkind.
> 
> I don't own Naruto or the characters thereof.

Naruto shivered as he shed the blanket of warmth created by the bed and covers. His chest ached and it felt like his pace maker was kicking into high gear more often these days. To make matters worse, he had developed a cough that did not seem to want to go away. Lifting a hand to his lips, he fought and failed to hold in the cough as he walked in a slow daze toward the bathroom.

The bathroom held even more of a chill and he shuddered as he pulled his toothbrush from its cup and began scrubbing at his teeth. His eyes never left the person staring back at him from behind the mirror. Could that man really be him?

The beginnings of dark shadows were visible beneath his eyes and a loss of color to his face gave him an almost ghostly appearance. Even his lips looked colorless. He had lost some weight in the past several months and there was no denying that the spark found in his usually bright blue eyes was significantly dimmer than he last remembered. The man staring back at him looked tired and nowhere near healthy.

He knew it was just the progression of his illness. Itachi had told him as much and what to expect as things continued. The good side of it was that as the day progressed and he moved about, the color would return to his cheeks and he could fake the truth of his health. The shadows beneath his eyes would still be there, but color on his face would hide them unless someone looked close enough to see them.

Spitting the toothpaste into the sink, he lifted his hands to his cheeks and began pinching them to bring some color to them. He rolled his shoulders and popped his neck, giving his body a little stretch to get the blood flowing through him. He was still months away from needing to truly worry about true sickness, but that did not help keep the worry of what would happen from worming its way into his mind.

Bringing his hand to his mouth as he felt the need to cough rise again, he failed in holding it back. A wet cough hacked from his body and he gripped the sink to keep standing as it drained him.

"You alright in there, Naruto?"

Naruto looked up from where he stood and panicked. The last thing he wanted was to worry Sasuke. Sasuke was always there for him.

Sasuke made sure he ate right and took his medicine diligently. He supported him and even let him drive his car. Just little more than a month prior, he had given him the most romantic Valentine's Day of his life and healed at least a little part of his soul with the picnic under the stars.

Naruto loved him with ever fiber in his being. Hurting him was unthinkable.

"Naruto?"

"I'm fine." Naruto wiped his face and stared once more in the mirror. At least, the cough and brought some color back into his cheeks. That was something.

Opening the bathroom door, he grinned and stepped into the bedroom where Sasuke was seated on the side of the bed, reading over a printed section of his newest book. He said he was able to edit it more accurately when he could write on the paper with a pen to circle uncertain passages. Naruto just thought him an old fashioned nerd.

"You feeling alright?"

Naruto nodded and went to the closet. "Just that cold I had last week. It's being a bitch to kick."

"I told you that you should have gone to see Itachi about it."

With a roll of his eyes, Naruto looked over his shoulder at his lover. "I was fine. I had a bit of a head cold that drained into my lungs. It's not even a bad cough. A few days and some cough drops and I'll be fine. Okay?"

"I'll give you three days, then you're going to go to Itachi."

Naruto flopped on the bed beside Sasuke and rested his chin on his shoulder. "You do know Itachi is a heart specialist, right? You haven't forgotten what your big brother does for a living, have you? You know there is such a thing as early onset Alzheimer's."

"Don't be a smart ass," snarled Sasuke playfully.

"That's what you love about me," said Naruto, leaning forward to give Sasuke's ear a teasing lick.

Sasuke dropped the paper he was reading and turned to push Naruto down on the bed. With a smile, lips were lowered and met by Naruto's all too willing mouth. Their tongues glided leisurely over each other in a slow and delicious kiss. There was no need for rushing.

Sasuke's lips slid away and began to suck and nibble down the length of Naruto's neck until he reached a spot just over his collar bone. For the next several minutes, his tongue, teeth, and lips worried the spot until it grew dark in color.

Naruto groaned and spread his legs enough for Sasuke to settle between them comfortably. "You're making me late."

"Then stay home today."

Naruto purred and arched against him as lips grazed slowly over his nipple. "But it looks bad if I stay home too much."

Sasuke looked up and smirked. "Then blame me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because it's the truth."

Naruto groaned low in his throat. "But what if I don't want everyone knowing that I'm in love with a sex fiend?"

Sasuke gave a low hum, and continued to work his way down Naruto's torso. Lips paused every so often to tease and arouse all those spots that were the most sensitive, like the place just north of his navel, or the bony protuberances of his hipbones. The attention had sighs of pleasure rolling from Naruto almost constantly.

When Sasuke finally began to nuzzle the hard shaft rising from the thatch of dark blond hair at his groin, Naruto was beyond arguing. He grunted and whined when lips suckled at the tip before trailing down the length to pay homage to the taut sac below. No matter the pleading, the pace was never rushed. They had both been burned by taking things too fast, and this morning, there was really no rush for release—only the slow build of pleasure.

Sasuke sucked one orb in his lips while his fingers curled around the abandoned penis and stroked in a slow pulling motion, thumb pausing every so often to swipe over the tip. Naruto nearly blacked out with the assault on his senses. The warm mouth and hand were pushing him slowly toward the end and he loved every moment of it.

That devilish mouth returned to his cock and gave a strong suck on the tip before returning to the slow and almost gentle teasing. Every time he thought he was going to explode with pleasure, Sasuke pulled away and waited for him to glide away from the edge of release.

"Please," Naruto whimpered as his hands sifted through Sasuke's thick, silky hair.

Delicious heat built in his groin and spots danced behind closed eyes. Each suck and nibble slowly edged him toward release. When he finally tumbled over, it was a gentle release that brought only a small whimper from his lips as he spilled himself between Sasuke's lips.

"Sasuke," he whined and arched as semen was expelled into Sasuke's mouth.

Sasuke continued to gently suck him through the length of the orgasm, only stopping when Naruto began to whimper as his penis grew oversensitive to the touch. He pulled away and stared lovingly down at Naruto. "Feel good?"

Naruto grinned, his face red from a blush. "You know it did."

He reached down and cupped Sasuke's hard groin. "Want me to return the favor?"

"I thought you were late."

Naruto groaned and slammed his head back into the bed. "I am."

"Then I'll take my payment tonight." Sasuke slithered up Naruto's body and kissed him leisurely, neither caring that the kiss was flavored by Naruto's release. "And I'll want more than an appetizer."

"God," groaned Naruto. "You're determined to have me hard for the rest of the day."

"Well, you could stay home and we could have the feast now."

"Feast," choked Naruto, barely holding in the laugh. "You're getting a little too into what you're writing, aren't you?"

"Maybe. If you ask nice, I'll even talk dirty to you in Japanese."

Naruto choked on a laugh and buried his face in Sasuke's neck. "Tease. You know I love it when you talk dirty."

Sasuke chuckled deep and rich in Naruto's ear. "Just wait until you get home. Then, we'll see who's laughing."

Naruto sighed and grinned up at him, hand giving another squeeze to Sasuke's groin before pressing to Sasuke's chest. "Then, you had best let me up so I can get back all the sooner."

Sasuke groaned and sat back reluctantly, his hands going immediately to adjust his trousers. "Now I'm the one who will be hard all day."

"That's what you get," purred Naruto as he pushed up from the bed.

He felt Sasuke's eyes trailing over him as he dressed in loose khaki trousers and a thin sweater. There was still a bite in the spring air and the last thing Naruto needed was to get sick, not to mention he needed to hide the glaring hickey now bright just above his collarbone.

"Like what you see?" asked Naruto, turning around and grinning at Sasuke.

"Always." Sasuke stood and walked to where Naruto stood. He pressed forward and grazed their lips together.

"If you keep distracting me, I'll never get out the door."

"I know." Sasuke stepped back and knelt to retrieve the papers he had dropped earlier. "Call me on your break?"

"Don't I always?"

Naruto leaned over to drop a peck on Sasuke's lips. "I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Trotting out of the apartment, he locked the door behind him and pressed a hand to his chest. Sasuke had his moments. Some days he would be so into his work that Naruto could have keeled over and he might have barely noticed and others where he had to simply sneeze to get his full attention.

And the morning blow job—that was a treat he was not expecting. It made him wonder how much longer he had to enjoy those before he became really sick. Each moment with Sasuke was stored away in his mind so that he could draw on them just to keep going. He had been so strong, but lately, his will to be strong felt as if it was leaving him. He had never been this sick before. His weak heart had always been something that would eventually fail. Now, it felt as if each beat could actually be his last.

He saw the red car parked prettily and sighed before passing it to slide into the black SUV Sasuke had bought as a second vehicle. He knew Sasuke did not mind him driving his baby, but the neighborhood where the suicide hotline was located was not the best. There was no real danger to Naruto, but a sexy sports car like Scarlet would definitely draw a lot more attention than a SUV. If Scarlet was damaged, he knew he would go insane with guilt.

He really did love the car; not as much as Sasuke, but love was love.

Sighing, he turned over the engine and began the drive to work. It wasn't work in that he was paid, but rather that he filled a need in himself. The hotline was strictly volunteer operated. In some ways, that made it harder to find skilled operators, but paying someone also made them more likely to care less about the person calling for help and more for their paycheck.

Naruto liked that everyone there was there because they wanted to help. It made the place more comfortable, even if the turnover rate for operators was quite high. He liked being able to say he was doing something to thank all the people that helped him. He could set his own hours and since meeting Sasuke, money was not a problem. He didn't really like depending on Sasuke, but it was something they discussed and if he ever did get a heart, then they would readdress the issue. Until then, he would do what he loved.

He parked the SUV and walked into the building. The lobby was small; they didn't get visitors often. Their callers were more interested in remaining anonymous.

"You're a few minutes late, Naruto."

Naruto grinned and winked at Temari. "Sorry about that. I got distracted."

Temari was a strong woman. She had started the local suicide hotline when her brother, Gaara, had attempted to commit suicide several years back. They had saved him, but it had shaken the entire family. She had immediately started a small program that expanded, hugely funded by donations and government funding. She never wanted to see another family experience what hers had.

There was no telling how many people they actually saved, but the walls were littered with letters written to them in thanks for what they did—many of them addressed to Naruto.

"It's that sexy man you're shacked up with, isn't it? Is he being a bad influence on you?"

Naruto grinned and fought back the flush that rose on his cheeks. "I think it's more like I'm the bad influence on him."

"Figures." She tossed him a look and muttered under her breath before turning and walking through the cubicles set up.

The room looked more like an office than a suicide hotline, but each of those cubicles housed someone who was quietly speaking with someone in need, someone at the end of their rope. The hotline ran twenty-four hours a day, so someone was always there to answer the calls of those who needed them.

Naruto walked to his office and grinned. He was one of the lucky ones with his own office. The operators knew when someone was on a razorblade edge. Those were always transferred to Naruto if possible. He always had the easiest time building a rapport with people and could talk them down enough to seek help or in some cases, call help for them. The calls were anonymous, but in the more dire cases, the calls could be traced and help sent to their location.

Slumping in his chair, he pulled out a book from his satchel and began reading. The calls would come soon enough. While most of the calls were routed locally, the suicide hotline Temari had set up was growing in radius. There were smaller set-ups outside of the city. She was doing a good thing and it was growing. 

Each operator was important, but Naruto was special. His name and extension was listed with all the operators. If they thought he was someone that could help talk down someone, it was arranged and the call transferred.

Almost as if he jinxed himself by thinking it, his phone began ringing. He pulled on his headset and hit the button to start the call. "Subaku Suicide Hotline, this is Naruto."

Naruto cocked his head at the harsh sound of breathing in his ear. It would not be the first time that someone had called in but was afraid or unsure what to say. All he could do was become a comforting voice in their ear until they felt comfortable to talk. It was something he was very good at.

"What's your name? Do you want to talk? Sometimes the hardest part is that first step."

Naruto gave a pause again. This was not about hearing himself speaking, but giving the other person on the line a chance to say what they needed to and to help them through the crisis.

"Come on, hun, talk to me. Let me help you through this. I know it's hard and you feel alone in the world. I get that. I know what it's like."

"Do you?"

Naruto had to strain to even hear the whispered words. His hand reached for the volume control on his headset and gradually twisted the dial. "Yeah, I do."

"You don't. You can't imagine." The voice was a girl. Age was hard to determine, but she sounded young. Probably late teens or early twenties.

"I may not know what you're feeling now, but I can help you get through this."

"No, you can't," she whispered.

"Why not?"

"No one can help me."

"Have you let them try?" Naruto shifted in his seat. He hadn't had one this close to the edge in a long time. There was something in her voice that spoke of the pain she felt and the feeling of hopelessness it brought with it. "Give me a chance to help you."

"Can you cure AIDS? That's the only way to help me, so can you?"

He could feel the caller beginning to become agitated and immediately went into critical mode. "You know I can't. I can only be a listening ear for you. Let me be that for you. AIDS isn't a death sentence any more. There are drugs and treatments. People with AIDS can live long lives and even have meaningful relationships."

The girl began laughing. It was a dry and brittle sound and tore at his gut. "You don't know anything. It doesn't matter, anyway. It's better to die this way than what is waiting for me."

"Better for who?"

The voice quivered. "My mom. My dad. They shouldn't have to watch me die slowly."

"Your parents love you. They will cherish every moment with you. Every moment."

"I know what AIDS can do."

"What about meds? HIV isn't curable, but at least it's treatable."

"The meds aren't working. The doctor told me I contracted a rare strand of the virus from that bastard. My death is going to be long and painful." Her voice caught in a sob. "I can't do that to them."

"I don't think they mind. If someone loves you, they will stay by you no matter what."

"But I don't want them to stay by me. I don't want to...have you ever seen hope die? I saw it. I saw them looking at me. I saw it in their eyes. I saw their hope die with each word from the doctor."

"I know what you think you saw, but how do you know what you saw was what you saw? Things aren't always what they seem," he said.

"This was. They want me to die. They want it to be over."

"They don't..."

"They do," she interrupted. "I found out today that I have AIDS-related cancer. If I die tonight, it will be painless and my parents won't have to see me so sick that I can't even take care of myself."

"That's not the way," argued Naruto. "They would want every minute they could have with you—the good and the bad."

"They would want it, but I know they want my death to be as painless as possible. They would want all of us spared that agony. I don't want to die...but I don't want them to see me like that."

He could hear the fear in her voice. She did not want to die, but was afraid of what awaited her with that horrible disease. He felt a kinship with her. Both of them were on borrowed time and in for a load of suffering before they finally died.

"They would want you to be with them."

"Can I ask you something?" Her voice was back to a whisper.

"Anything," he said.

"If you were dying, would you want your family to have to watch you die?"

Naruto's breath caught in his throat. "I..."

"It's hard, but this is what I can give them. I can save them from having to watch me waste away in constant pain. It will be quick...and painless."

"That's not the way."

He thought for a moment that he could hear the smile as she spoke. "Thank you for being with me."

Freezing, he heard her voice becoming labored. "Hun?"

"I'm really tired now. I just...I just wanted...someone with me."

"What?" Naruto was on his feet, mind whirling. "Where are you, hun? I can have an ambulance come and get you."

"Too late. Don't leave me alone."

"Please. Let me help you." Naruto hit an emergency button to call Temari. "Tell me where you are."

He could hear the slowing breath through the phone. "Hun? Please, don't do this."

"Naruto?"

Naruto gripped the edge of his desk. He was shaking. He couldn't hear her breathing any more, the phone likely having fallen away from her face. "She's dying. We have to help her."

Temari immediately transferred the call to the Emergency response department, who notified the police and arranged for ambulances. They were only used in cases where the caller actually harmed themselves.

"She's dead," whispered Naruto.

He slumped down in the chair and stared ahead as if blind. It was not the first time that he had heard someone commit suicide while on the line with him. He had heard people die before, but for some reason, this girl hit him harder than the others. In many ways, she mirrored him. She was dying and feared her loved ones having to watch her suffer. He was much the same. The thought of Sasuke watching him die was his greatest fear, even more so than the act of dying.

"Naruto, there was nothing you could have done."

"I didn't approach her the right way. I could have stopped her. I should have realized she had already taken the pills and had the ambulance already on the way."

Temari knelt before him, placing hands on the arms of his chair. "Don't be an idiot. There was no way you could have known. You did everything right. You tried to persuade her into reason but sometimes people are too far gone. She just did not want to die alone. And to be honest, she was lucky it was you."

"I just...I can't..."

Temari stood and pulled Naruto into her arms. "I want you to go home. You're not in any shape to help anyone today."

"Temari...we are the same, me and that girl."

"What do you mean?"

"We both don't want the ones we love to have to suffer along with us."

Temari looked at Naruto sharply. "Naruto..."

"Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if Sasuke and I weren't together. When I think of what is going to happen and what Sasuke will have to do...I nearly go insane. I love him so much, but I don't think I can stand to see that look in his eyes when he realizes that I'm going to die."

Temari grabbed Naruto's shoulders and gave him a little shake. "I don't know your boyfriend well, but I do know that he loves you."

"So do I, but does that give me the right to put him through so much before the end. I'm not so sick now, but I'm getting a lot worse. I probably only have a few months left until my heart failure becomes obvious."

"Oh, Naruto." Temari hugged him close to her. "I can't tell you what to do, but I think you should do what your heart tells you."

Naruto rested his head on her shoulder. He took comfort in her embrace even though his mind and heart was still conflicted about what he should do.

"Do you need me to call Sasuke to come get you?" she asked.

Naruto shook his head. "I'm alright. I can drive. Is it really alright if I leave?"

"You know it is."

Naruto nodded and grabbed his satchel. His hands shook slightly as he dug out his keys and gripped them tightly. The world seemed in a haze as he reached the SUV and climbed inside.

As he sat in the driver's seat, he simply stared ahead blindly. That girl's words were still ringing loudly in his ears. It was painful just thinking about it, but in so many ways, what she had said made a lot of sense to him. Was it right to let Sasuke suffer through the illness and eventual death with him? He did not believe for an instant that suicide was the answer to anything, but he could not help but wonder if Sasuke truly understood what would happen very soon.

Maybe Sasuke would be better off without him. If he broke things off now, Sasuke would be angry, but he would not have to suffer as badly. Just the thought turned his stomach. Both options were undesirable and painful. If he stayed with Sasuke, the love of his life would have to watch him slowly waste away. If he left, both of them would suffer, though Naruto far more.

Sacrifice.

It could mean so many things, but in the end, it was what it was. To sacrifice was to give up something of great value for the sake of someone else. Giving Sasuke his freedom was something he could return, something he could sacrifice, in honor of his love for him.

Shaking his head, he turned over the engine and drove home. Inside, his mind still churned and bubbled. There were so many things rising to the surface that he was having trouble reconciling them all. The most important was what he should do. That girl's death had shaken him, but her words had done so much more.

He thought about not going home. There were many places he could go to think, but there was only one place he felt safe and secure enough, only one place he needed to be in this moment, and that was in Sasuke's arms.

He felt like a zombie as he pushed open the door to the apartment. He saw Sasuke plucking away at his laptop at the table and smiled. The office was hardly used any more. It had become a habit between them for Naruto to veg out on the sofa and be lulled by the sound of Sasuke's typing. Not even the sound of the television playing would disturb Sasuke when he got into a rhythm.

So he simply stood there watching Sasuke. He felt he could do that for an eternity and be happy.

Swallowing the sudden thickness in his throat, he spoke. "I'm home."

Sasuke looked up instantly. His glasses were situated on his face and his bangs were pulled away from his face with some plain barrettes that Naruto had insisted would help keep them from his eyes while working.

"Did something happen?" Sasuke was immediately on his feet and going to Naruto. "Are you sick? Do I need to call Itachi?"

Naruto did not answer, but simply wrapped his arms around Sasuke's waist and buried his face in his neck. "I'm not sick. I just needed to hold you."

"Naruto?"

Naruto tightened his arms and breathed in deeply. The hint of Sasuke's spicy aftershave caused his nose to tingle and he shuddered in the pleasure of it. It was these little things about Sasuke that he loved. He loved the way he smelled. He loved how cute he looked when he was focused on whatever project he was obsessed with. He even loved when he fed him that bland as fuck food.

"I love you."

Sasuke blinked before completing the embrace and wrapping his arms around Naruto. "Me, too," he whispered.

"I need you," said Naruto.

Sasuke pulled back. "Naruto, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just need to feel you." Naruto ran his hands under Sasuke's shirt and pressed them flat against his back. "Please."

Sasuke's eyes darkened a shade with both lust and uncertainty. They promised both pleasure and questions later. Naruto did not care. He just needed Sasuke burned into both his body and his mind.

Sasuke fitted their lips together in a hard and quick kiss before leading Naruto toward the bed room.

oOo

Naruto pressed his face to Sasuke's naked chest and listened to the firm thumping. He loved moments like this. They soothed him as nothing else could. He could almost believe everything would be alright if they stayed like this. His heart would never give out if he was in Sasuke's arms.

But that was not the case. No amount of wishing would make it so. He knew the statistics. Even Itachi refused to discuss his odds of receiving a heart unless he pried it out of him. The chances were slim, so he had to decide if he wanted Sasuke to have to sit at his side as he slowly withered away.

He could kill himself like the girl. His ending would be quick and Sasuke would mourn, but he would get on with his life. It was a better ending than forcing Sasuke to become his nursemaid before he finally died. Either way he was going to die.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he tightened his arms around the love of his life and fought back the flood of tears blinding him...and knew he could never kill himself—not even for Sasuke. It was not in him to take his life. Shitty though it was, he could never give up what little time he might have left.

So that left one option and it was almost unthinkable.

And his heart ached. Suicide started looking really good when he thought about it. It was not that he thought Sasuke was not willing to sit at his side as he grew sicker. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Sasuke was most definitely willing. He knew Sasuke loved him and that made the choice so hard.

If he did this, he was doing this for Sasuke.

His eyes closed and he breathed in the rich musky scent that clung to Sasuke's skin. He only prayed he had the strength to do it, because he could not bear to think of the look in Sasuke's eyes as he slowly wasted away. That girl was right. Seeing that look and putting Sasuke through that was far worse than his eventual death.

"I love you, Sasuke," whispered Naruto against Sasuke's chest.

Sasuke gave a sleepy grunt and tightened his arm around Naruto's waist. "Me too," he grumbled.

And then the tears did flow.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto felt as if he had been living in a fog for days. It hazed everything while making the things he did now want to think of become all too vivid in his mind. He did not know what to do. Stay or leave, either way Sasuke would be hurt. The question was which would give Sasuke the least amount of hurt before the end. The thought of Sasuke caring for him as he grew weaker and sicker, even to the point of having to wipe his ass for him, did not sit well with Naruto.

"What's wrong with you?"

Naruto blinked and shifted his gaze to where Sasuke sat staring at him over the rim of those sexy as hell glasses that he wore when working. "Huh?"

"You have to turn on the television to watch it."

Naruto turned to look at the dark screen and then back at Sasuke. "Oh, right."

He flipped on the television using the remote from the coffee table. "Better?"

Sasuke frowned and stood, walking to where Naruto sat. "Naruto...what's the matter? You've been like this for days."

"Stop asking me that, damn it!"

"Then stop acting like a limp vegetable."

Naruto stood and faced down his lover. They were close in height, Naruto having only a couple more inches on Sasuke, not that height mattered. Sasuke could probably beat his ass if he wanted to. Handsome nerd that Sasuke was, he was a very athletic one.

"Tell me what is wrong."

Naruto met Sasuke's glare and felt the urge to punch him...or kiss him—probably both. He just didn't know when to leave well enough alone. That was something Sasuke had developed more potently the more Naruto's heart disease progressed.

"Just leave it alone, Sasuke."

"Naruto, you're not acting right. I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong."

"What if I don't want your help?" snapped Naruto.

"If you don't tell me what is wrong, I'm calling your boss. Whatever happened the other day is driving you absolutely insane."

"Sasuke, I'm not going to do this with you."

"Do what? I'm only trying to get you to stop acting like a ghost."

Something in Naruto snapped. "Well, considering that eventuality isn't far off, I'd say that is a very good assessment."

Sasuke paled and stared at Naruto as if he had grown a second head. "Don't talk like that."

"Why? It's the truth."

"It's not the truth and you know it. You're going to get a heart."

"Stop saying that because then I might believe it."

"It's true." Sasuke stormed to Naruto and he lifted his hands to cup his face. "I'll stay with you to until it happens. I won't leave your side."

"And what, Sasuke? Are you going to bring me my food when I get too weak to even walk? Are you going to clean my bedpan and wipe my ass?"

"I'll do anything you need until you're better."

"But that's the thing, Sasuke," began Naruto. "I'm not going to get better. I'm only going to get worse."

"Why are you being so stubborn?" asked Sasuke.

"I've always been stubborn, you know that." Naruto slumped and exhaled a breath. He hated fighting with Sasuke like this, but it made him realize just what he was putting Sasuke through. His lover didn't seem to truly realize what was going to happen. 

Sasuke had that stubborn look in his gaze. The man was stubborn as a mule, much like Naruto was. On some things they were polar opposites and on some they were identical.

It also fermented in him what had to happen. Sasuke had to let him go, even if it was unwillingly because it was the only way to save him from the pain of watching someone he loved waste away. Better to lose him now than to suffer through months of torture before losing him anyway. Everything he did, he did for Sasuke.

"I'm not fighting anymore."

Sasuke smiled and trailed his fingers down Naruto's cheek. "Good."

"Sasuke..." Naruto's eyes were filled with pain as he stared at him. It hurt too much to think of what he was about to say. His heart felt as if it was being ripped from his chest.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go, Sasuke."

Sasuke frowned in confusion. "Go where? Is it your heart? Do I need to call Itachi?"

"No. Such that it is, my heart is fine for now." Naruto turned and walked toward the bedroom, his feet seeming to be caught in quicksand. The walk to the shared bedroom seemed to drain the energy from him and only the knowledge that what he did was for the best kept him going.

"Naruto?"

Naruto pulled a suitcase from the back of the closet and began to pull clothes from drawers and the closet, taking what he knew he would use and leaving the rest to be collected later. He could feel Sasuke's confusion and sensed a growing panic in him. It made it all the harder to do what had to be done. 

It was for Sasuke that he was doing this. He kept repeating it in his mind, as if saying it made things okay.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arm and turned him to face him. "Talk to me, Naruto."

"I'm leaving."

"What?"

Naruto smiled, though he knew it was a farce of one. It was a forced movement that held no purpose other than to hide the abject pain he felt in that moment, pain he refused to allow Sasuke to see. This was hard enough on both of them.

"I've been thinking about things."

Sasuke's eyes grew sharp and his hand lifted to clench in the material of Naruto's shirt. "That's a dangerous thing."

Naruto laughed mirthlessly. "I can't keep doing this, Sasuke."

"Doing what, exactly?"

"Hurting you."

Sasuke lifted a hand to Naruto's face. "What are you talking about?"

"You deserve someone who is healthy, not someone you're going to spend months taking care of before finally burying him."

Dark eyes went wide with shock. "You're not going to die. I only want you. I love you."

Naruto closed his eyes and for a split second, he wavered. It was hard not to miss the absolute love in present in Sasuke's face and in his stunningly beautiful eyes. If there was one part of Sasuke that he could say he loved above all others, it was those beautiful almond shaped eyes with irises so dark that it was hard to distinguish them from the pupil.

Seeing that look in Sasuke's face might have caused a waver in his determination, but it also solidified it. He had to do this for Sasuke, because his love wouldn't let him. If there was one thing Naruto had learned about Sasuke was that he loved powerfully. He might not say the words, but rather showed it in everything he did. Doing this for Sasuke would be his ultimate sacrifice of love.

"That's why I'm doing this."

Naruto turned quickly before Sasuke could see the tears he barely held back begin to catch on his lashes. God, he hoped dying hurt less than this, because he already felt as if his soul was being pulled free from his mortal body. It was a hurt that was so potent; he could barely withhold a scream of agony rising up in his throat.

"Naruto!"

He refused to turn, even when he heard the pain in Sasuke's voice. He had to be strong and remember why he was doing this. It really was the only thing that was keeping him going at this point.

"I'll...get the rest of my stuff later."

And with those words, nearly turning to ash on his tongue, he left Sasuke standing in the door of their apartment. As he made his way out of the building, he left the two vehicles where they were. Sasuke had bought the SUV for him and his pride and honor would not let him take it. Thankfully, he was able to flag down a cab and instruct the driver to take him to the cheapest hotel with clean bedding.

It turned out to be a small mom and pop-owned place. The paint was a bit faded and it did not possess any wi-fi capabilities, but at least the sheets were suitable and the bathroom looked nearly pristinely clean. The older woman in the office was more than happy to take a week's payment in advance and showed him happily to one of the units next to a flickering soda machine.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Naruto collapsed to his knees and brought a hand to his lips to muffle the scream that tore through him. He swore he was dying in that moment because the hurt in his chest seemed to take over his entire being. He tasted blood where his teeth broke the skin on his knuckles and tears tracked wetly to splash around him. He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and did not bother to look at the screen as he tossed it across the room where it skidded to a halt beside the adjacent wall.

Half crawling across the threadbare carpet, he collapsed on the single double bed and curled up into a ball, trying to disappear into himself. He kept repeating a mental mantra over and over in his mind. This is for Sasuke. It was all that kept him from reaching for the phone that continued to buzz repeatedly with only seconds of silence before the buzzing began again.

The pillow was soaked through with tears until there was nothing left for him to cry. His eyes felt dry and crackly and his body, no his entire being, was wrung into nothing but a husk of what he once was. He had always been the type to lay down everything for a friend, but Sasuke was more, every so much more, than a mere friend. Sasuke was his everything. If it had been in him to do so, he would have gone the route of that girl, but suicide was never something he could do.

He wanted to live, even if he had to do so alone.

Exhaustion tugged at him and he grabbed the spare pillow to pull to his chest. It was a poor substitution for Sasuke's warmth, but he no longer had Sasuke to cuddle against. He would need to get used to sleeping alone again.

Closing his eyes, he sighed pitifully and allowed himself to be pulled fully into sleep.

oOo

Sasuke stared dumbly at the door that Naruto had escaped through...no, correction, that he had allowed him to leave through. What the hell had happened? His brain, as highly developed as it was, was having trouble understanding what had just happened. While it was true that something about Naruto had been off for several days, he assumed it was only because he was ruffled from what had happened with that call in at the suicide hotline, but he had never thought for even a moment that it would push Naruto into leaving him. All he knew was what Naruto had told him—that one of the calls had upset him and he was taking a few days off from work. After what had happened today, he wanted to call up Temari Subaku and ask her what the fuck had happened to cause Naruto to do this.

His mind seemed to whirl rapidly in his skull as it tried to compute what had happened. He felt a shot of pain through his chest and lifted a hand in surprise. The pain was not physical, yet it felt just as bad if not worse than if it had been such.

His hands began shaking followed by his entire body. Tears misted his eyes and he shook with the force of the emotions running through him. He stumbled through the apartment, trying to remember where he had left his phone. He had to call Naruto.

His fingers were barely sturdy enough to trace along the screen to Naruto's number. With his heart pounding in his chest, he held the phone to his ear and waited to hear Naruto's voice. Whatever had happened, whatever he had done or not done, he would make it right. If Naruto wanted more space, he would give it to him. If he would prefer Sasuke hire a nurse when he became sick, it was as simple as a call to Itachi for reputable services.

"Hi, this is Naruto. If you're hearing this then I'm probably ignoring your ass. If this is Sasuke, I'm probably at work or sleeping, though why you aren't sleeping with me is a baffling thought. Anyway, leave a message and I'll call you back."

Sasuke smiled at the cheerful tone. He'd rolled his eyes when he heard Naruto composing it shortly after he had gotten the phone. He recalled making an offhand comment about it sounding absolutely ridiculous and Naruto sticking his tongue out at him, which in turn, caused Sasuke to take Naruto to bed and show him better ways to occupy his tongue.

"Naruto, don't ignore me. You need to call me back. We need to talk about this."

He ended the call and redialed, only to get the same message and leave another of his own in the wake of the first. His emotions felt raw and before long, his voice was equally raw. It soon grew to the point where there was no more room on the voice mail and the phone rang until an automated voice informed Sasuke that there was no room to leave a message.

Having long since sunk down the wall and been seated on the floor, he sat staring at the phone in his hand. He thought they were through this. Naruto had fought so hard after they had gotten together. The issue of his heart was not something either could ignore. Naruto had made it so fucking clear when they finally became something more about his illness and Itachi had explained the likely route the illness would take.

To have Naruto suddenly make an about face bothered Sasuke. He was truly scared for the first time in his life.

Sasuke pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes and swallowed around the thick lump that was threatening to choke him. His hands shook as he picked up his phone once more, but instead of dialing Naruto's number, he hovered his finger over Itachi's name.

"Sasuke, to what do I owe this call? Business or pleasure?"

"Naruto left."

"Oh?"

Sasuke heard the seriousness in wash all the playfulness from Itachi's voice. His brother had more than likely picked up on the strain in his voice. Given the shape he was in, it probably was not a hard thing to do.

"I don't know what to do."

"What happened, Sasuke?"

Sasuke began speaking, letting wave after wave of frustration and worry pour from him. He told Itachi of how Naruto had come home early one day and that he had been strangely quiet ever since. Even though his illness sapped Naruto of much of his energy, he always exuded a sort of energy and lightness. Over the past few days, that seemed gone from him.

"Itachi, has he contacted you at all?" asked Sasuke with a sort of futile hope.

"You know he hasn't."

Sasuke closed his eyes and released a small whimper. "What if he's gone for good? What am I going to do without him?"

"Get off your ass, that's what. Does Naruto have you that pussy-whipped? Stop being a doormat and pull yourself together. Maybe he needed some space. He's got a life-threatening illness and it is true that a heart might not come for him. I'm sure that a lot of this weighs heavy on him."

"Naruto will get a heart."

Itachi chuckled in his ear. "I'm sure if it was possible to buy a healthy one, he would already have it."

"Damn right, even if I had to cut it out myself."

"That's the Sasuke I know and love." Itachi paused and gave a small grunt. "Listen, give him a few days. The two of you are as close to soul mates as I would ever admit considering I don't believe in that rubbish. You've practically taken over his life and he's scared. He's scared of dying. He's scared of leaving you."

"How the hell do you know what he's thinking?"

"Sasuke, while I have a high success rate with my patients, I have had my fair share of patients who have died waiting on a heart or because they were not eligible for one. Naruto is not the first, nor is he the last to think those who care about him would be better off without him. Just be patient with him for a few days. Don't call him every five minutes. You know that old saying—if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours if it doesn't, it was never meant to be?"

"I love him, Itachi. How can I let him go? What if he doesn't come back?" Sasuke's voice rose an octave as renewed panic set in. "I don't want to live without..."

"Sasuke!" Itachi's voice cut hard through the phone. "Don't even think like that."

"You don't understand. You said we're soul mates...but how can one of us live without the other. People make jokes about love birds, but the truth is that once mated, they cannot go on without the other. If one dies, the other soon follows."

"Sasuke, listen very closely to me. Naruto is fine. He knows how to survive. Give him some space to realize what is going on with him. We have an appointment in a few days, so let me handle speaking with him."

Sasuke nodded though he knew his brother could not see the movement. "Alright."

"Don't worry, Sasuke."

He didn't answer, pressing the end symbol on the screen and dropping the phone limply beside him. His eyes drifted to the bedroom door that Naruto had walked out of only a short while earlier. He could see the edge of the neatly made bed that would likely still have Naruto's scent still embedded on his side. His chest ached and he found himself standing and walking into the room as if pulled by some invisible string.

Without even a thought, he crumpled onto the bed and buried his face in Naruto's pillow. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled the faint traces of Naruto's scent. Just that little ounce of comfort relaxed him. It was still late afternoon, but he found he did not have the will or desire to leave the bed and what remained of Naruto's scent.

He remained where he was with his nose buried in Naruto's pillow until finally the exhaustion brought on by the stress of Naruto leaving claimed him and he drifted off into a fitful sleep. Ever little bit, he would jerk awake and think he heard Naruto returning home, only to find that the apartment was still empty and silent.

"Naruto," he whispered into the pillow before dozing off once more.

oOo

Naruto stared at the cash he had pulled from his wallet. It was not nearly enough to survive on. He had a bank card and a practically unlimited amount of funds, but taking money Sasuke had set aside for him seemed wrong. Just using the money he had in his wallet was bad enough.

And to make matters worse, he had left the apartment without his medicine. "Damn it."

He could call Itachi and ask him to call in a prescription to a local pharmacy, but that would still defeat the purpose of using Sasuke's money because he knew for certain that the cash in his wallet would not even begin to cover the cost of the medication. 

There was also the option of returning to the apartment and collecting the medicine, but that would mean seeing Sasuke again and he knew if he saw him, he would not be able to leave again. He still was not sure where he had found the strength to leave before.

Turning again to the two hundred dollars, he slammed a hand into his brow. Why hadn't he thought this through? Sasuke always bitched about him for acting first and thinking later, but it was so hard to deny his impulses.

"Maybe Itachi has some lying around." 

Then another thought popped into his brain and he slumped once more to the squeaky bed. What if Itachi refused to see him? It honestly would not be the first time he was forcefully thrown from Itachi's office though he had serious doubt that Hinata would allow him to be literally thrown from the place like Itachi's previous bitch of an employee. She had too much of a good heart for that.

So either way, he was fucked. If he went home, he would have to deal with Sasuke. If he went to Itachi, he might be given the proverbial heel. Couldn't he catch a break in life?

Coward that he was, Naruto grabbed his phone from the floor and stared at the number of missed calls with incredulity. Seriously? Fifty-six missed calls? Jesus Christ, he didn't think Sasuke would have had the patience to call that many times. He moved to look at the number of voice mails and his finger hovered over the prompt to listen or delete the overly full inbox.

Both choices were not something he could deal with now; and he exited that menu, mentally promising to go back later and do something. He scrolled through his short list of contacts and pressed the prompt to call before he could chicken out and decide to curl up and die in that hotel room without his medicine.

"Good morning, Naruto."

There were times when he hated caller id. "Hey, Itachi. I guess Sasuke called you."

"Only after he filled up your phone's inbox with voice mails, I'm sure."

Geez, was the guy psychic? "I need a favor."

"Do you?"

"I...uhh...forgot my medication at the apartment."

He could hear Itachi's brow lift. It was that loud of a silence.

"Then why don't you go get it."

"Sasuke's there," he mumbled.

"What was that? I don't speak mumble."

Naruto's brow ticked and he ground his teeth together. "I said Sasuke's there."

"I would imagine so since it is his apartment."

Naruto clenched his free hand into the material of the jeans he had slept in. "I can't see him."

Compassion was not something he associated with Itachi. Itachi was frank some days and unreadable the next, but he was never outwardly compassionate, yet the tone in his voice practically exuded it.

"Naruto, you and my brother need to talk."

"Please, Itachi, I can't. It's better if we break now while I'm still healthy."

"Did you hit your head, or something?"

"Stop being a dick," snapped Naruto. "Will you call me in some meds or won't you?"

Itachi sighed in his ear. "We have an appointment in two days. I'll call you in a week's worth of meds, but I expect you to be at our appointment."

"Will Sasuke's be there?"

"Is it Sasuke's appointment?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "No."

"Then he won't be here. I'm not a damn marriage counselor."

Naruto smiled sadly. "Thanks, Itachi."

"You're going to have to deal with my brother eventually. Once the shock is gone, he's not going to let you go. You haven't known Sasuke as long as I have. He is like a bulldog when he fixates on something and will run himself into the ground until he gets what he wants."

Naruto huffed out something that might be considered a laugh. "Yeah, that sounds like him."

"I'll see you on Thursday, Naruto."

"Yeah." Naruto ended the call and stared at his wallet and the bank card inside. While a week's worth of medicine wouldn't be that pricy, he was wary of spending what little cash he had.

He sighed and flopped onto the bed. Even talking about Sasuke with Itachi had created a knot in his stomach. He loved that bastard so much. Being away from him was akin to an addict going through detox. He could not imagine living without Sasuke and had to take it one minute at a time, practically counting the time since he had last seen him.

An acrid taste rose in his mouth and he was suddenly sick to his stomach at what he had done to Sasuke. He jumped to his feet and fled to the bathroom where he collapsed before the toilet and began to heave. Little more than acid and clear liquid was expelled into the bowl as he had not eaten anything since breakfast the previous day, and even then it had been little more than a few bites of oatmeal.

As the heaving stopped, he laid his burning cheek on the rim and began to cry. Was this better than suicide? He was torturing himself.

He jerked upward at the direction of his thoughts and then promptly groaned at the dizziness the action brought. He was acting stupid and needed to get his shit together before leaving to get the medicine Itachi had called in for him.

First, he called the pharmacy he used to check and ensure the medicine was filled and then he pulled out the ragged phone book in the bedside drawer next to an equally pitiful Gideon Bible and called for a cab service. He would grab food on the way back though he had little doubt it would remain mostly uneaten.

The more time that passed, the more certain he became in the belief that he would not survive long away from Sasuke. He always argued with Sasuke about him running his life, but when it boiled down to it, he enjoyed Sasuke's care. That made his sacrifice all the more bitter. He would have to figure out a way to live without Sasuke, which was all he could think to do.


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto shivered from the slight chill in the air, grateful when he stepped into the drugstore. Of all the drugstores in the city, this little family owned business was where he preferred to frequent. He felt more like a person and less like a dollar sign. That sold him on the place even if they were limited on their over the counter selections.

As he walked into the shop, his eyes took a moment to adjust to the fluorescent lighting and he ambled toward the back where the pharmacist was working in his white coat. The man had to be ninety and it was a miracle he was still able to see, yet he never had a bit of trouble.

"Ah, Naruto, did something happen to your medicine? I see this is a small prescription."

"I lost my meds and Dr. Uchiha called in just enough to get me through to our appointment."

The old pharmacist smiled and handed over the medication bottles inside a crisp white bag. Naruto cringed but pulled out his debit card, swiped it through the reader, and punched in the pin number. For a moment the processing seemed to take longer than usual and he feared Sasuke might have canceled the account, but the machine finally flashed the approved message and he released the breath he had been holding. He knew Sasuke could be a bastard when he wanted to, but he was never that way to him and felt guilty for thinking it of him, even for just a moment.

"Damn machine. My son tells me I should replace it but as long as it works, there is no need even if it takes a little longer. Both that machine and I may be old, but at least we're good."

A laugh bubbled in Naruto's throat as he stared at the pharmacist. In some ways he reminded him of Jiraiya minus the innate pervert aura. Jiraiya was always tight fisted with his money as well, though he had no trouble using other people's money whenever he could and he always had a joke to tell. He really missed the old man. 

"You have a good day, Naruto."

Naruto grinned broadly, the first real smile in what seemed like forever. It was funny because that crusty, tight-fisted pharmacist would probably outlive him by a long shot. He shook his head and popped off the staple keeping the bag closed and checked the bottles.

Digoxin—check.

Vasotec—check.

Staring at the third bottle, he cringed. The bane of his existence was in that simple little bottle. Diuretics caused him to pee all the damn time. He understood the reason, but damn, couldn't they find something else that didn't make him have to urinate like a pregnant woman. Who knew a bladder could fill up that damn fast?

Stopping at a kiosk, he used a couple of dollars to buy a bottle of water and downed the pills. The bitter taste of the medicine was cringe worthy even though they idled on his tongue for barely as second.

Closing his eyes, he washed the residual taste from his mouth with another swallow of the water and proceeded to walk down the street. He felt weak and drained, both emotionally and physically. He did not even want to think about the wailing on he was going to get from Itachi.

Now, Itachi was not the type to interfere in Sasuke and Naruto's personal life often. He was the type that thought that was not something that should be handled by any but the two of them. But Naruto could already hear the listing of reasons not to leave that were going to come from Itachi's mouth.

"Are you alright?"

Naruto blinked and glanced toward the woman standing beside him. He hadn't realized the sight he must present. It was more surprising that someone came forward and asked if he was well. That did not happen often in the city and he was touched by the show of compassion. It reminded him of the day he met Sasuke.

He'd had a pair of skinned knees while sitting on his ass in front of Itachi's office after being tossed out on his bum. That offered hand and those beautifully dark eyes had drawn him in. One could say he fell for him in that instant but really, it was just something that happened. One day he woke up and wanted to spend the rest of his life with Sasuke. Hell, the bastard was afraid of heights but still got on the Ferris Wheel with him. If that wasn't love, he did not know what was.

What had changed? 

The truth was, absolutely nothing. If anything, Naruto had changed and kept telling himself that what he did, he did for Sasuke. He did not want Sasuke to suffer. One of them suffering through the process of his death was enough.

But...his heart hurt and he knew Sasuke was hurting as well. Itachi often muttered at how they were practically sharing a heart and if they had the same blood type, he would have just sewn them together to share the one healthy heart. It was said in jest as such a thing was not possible, but it was something Naruto was sure he would not have minded.

Sure, Sasuke pissed him off all the damn time. The guy was the neat freak from hell. He even folded his damn underwear and had everything perfectly ordered in his bedroom.

Naruto giggled a little, likely looking quite a bit insane to the Good Samaritan who was still standing at his side. Sasuke's bedroom _used_ to be organized until Naruto moved in. Now his underwear was never quite so neat and the clothes hanging in the closet weren't ordered by color but by wherever Naruto put them. His home used to be minimalistic in nature, but was soon made homey with furniture and knickknacks. Sasuke's life used to be simple, but now it was immensely more complicated.

Sasuke never seemed to complain unless it was to egg Naruto on about something.

And that was what killed him. If he had just shaken Sasuke's hand and gone on his way that day, Sasuke would be perfectly happy nerding out to his boring history writing and be happy.

"Sir?"

"I'm fine," said Naruto with a smile. "I was just thinking about something funny."

"It must not be that funny. You look like you're about to cry."

Naruto started and lifted a hand to his cheek as a tear blinked from his eye and splashed down his cheek. Damn. 

"Should I call an ambulance?"

"No, I'm fine. I've just had some things going on in my life and been fighting off this really nasty cold. I'm going to go home, put my feet up and be fine."

The woman tilted her head, as if measuring the truth of his words. "Well, okay, but at least let me call you a cab."

"I'm taking the bus." Naruto pointed to the bench situated on the curve. "Thanks anyway. It's not often you see someone willing to help."

"I'd like to think that if I needed help, someone would come to my assistance."

"That's a promise. If I ever see you in trouble, count on me being your white knight."

The woman smiled, causing the faint wrinkles on the side of her eyes to crinkle. "I'll hold you to it."

Naruto gave the woman a wave as she started down the street. He stumbled to the bench and sat very still while he waited, his thoughts forever on Sasuke.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he opened the menu for his voice mail and pressed the phone to his ear.

_Naruto, don't ignore me. You need to call me back. We need to talk about this._

Naruto swallowed at the rich sound of Sasuke's voice in his ear. His eyes burned and he shuddered with longing to fall into those warm arms.

_Naruto, just talk to me. Tell me what I can do to make this better._

_Naruto, just call me back. You're scaring me._

_Naruto...just talk to me, please._

He barely noticed the bus arriving or taking a seat on it. His ear remained glued to the phone. Sasuke's voice was all that mattered. It seemed like a lifetime since he had heard his voice and the recordings of it were a balm to his soul even if they made it ache all the more potently.

His hand shook a bit as he opened the door to his hotel room and collapsed on the bed, phone still pressed to his ear while he repeated the messages over and over again. He wanted Sasuke laying behind him with his arms pulling him tightly to his chest. 

His heart gave a flutter and he winced at the familiar shock of the pacemaker setting his heart back to the appropriate beat. Coughing into his hand, he stared blankly at the faded picture on the wall beside his bed. He wanted Sasuke so bad. Beside him. Around him. Inside him.

Naruto closed his eyes and tears passed through his lashes to dribble down his cheek and onto the thin pillow beneath his head. He pressed the phone more firmly to his ear and played the series of voice mails again...each and every one. His eyes fluttered and he drifted to sleep to the sound of Sasuke's voice in his ears.

oOo

Naruto felt a bit insecure as he walked through the glass doors of the building that housed Itachi's office. The guard did not pay him any mind, but ever since that initial attempt to garner an appointment with the renowned Dr. Uchiha, he had never felt completely at ease in the place.

He rode the elevator up to correct floor. His eyes closed and he thumped his head against the mirror wall of the box. He was exhausted, emotionally and physically. He just wanted sleep and yet hated to. When he slept, he was with Sasuke only to wake and be forced to accept that Sasuke was not with him any longer.

"Good morning, Naruto."

Naruto lifted a limp hand in greeting to Hinata as walked into the office and collapsed in one of the chairs. He didn't even have the energy to participate in his usual teasing of Itachi's receptionist/nurse. Judging from the compassionate look on her face, he probably looked just as bad as he felt, if not worse.

"Itachi has been expecting you, Naruto."

Naruto lifted his gaze. "That's nice."

She blushed and shook her head. "No, I mean you can go back to exam room one. I'll tell him you're here."

"Knowing that freak of nature, he already knows I'm here." Naruto grunted as he stood and walked the familiar path to the first examination room. He didn't know why Itachi had two rooms when he had yet to see patients waiting to see him. Itachi never scheduled his patients close together if he could help it. Most could not afford his care, though he did volunteer his service pro bono several days a week and take the occasional case that interested him—like Naruto. It helped that he was living with Sasuke. If not for Sasuke, he would never have garnered Itachi's attention.

He slumped on the table and almost dozed off before the door opened to reveal Itachi in all his arrogant glory. Even his damn lab coat was perfectly pressed without a single wrinkle to be seen anywhere.

"Thanks for the meds," grumbled Naruto. "Though my bladder is very unhappy with you."

Itachi rolled his eyes and moved to the side of the room where an ECG machine was stored. "Take off your shirt."

"Oh, kinky. Are you thinking about making the moves on me now that Sasuke is out of the picture? I never would have thought you batted for the same team."

Itachi folded his arms over his chest and looked down at Naruto. "Jokes will only delay the inevitable."

"You're no fun today," grumbled Naruto.

He might have been in a foul mood since leaving Sasuke, but he had on some level been looking forward to his usual banter with Itachi. It was almost like foreplay between them before the main event of checking out Naruto's bum ticker. He was a bit miffed at not even being allowed that small pleasure.

He tugged his shirt over his head and hissed as a cool stethoscope was pressed to his chest and then his back. Itachi grunted and began applying leads to various parts of his chest before having him lay down and starting the ECG.

Watching the rhythmic pulses of the machine was almost mesmerizing. He didn't have an ounce of medical knowledge unless it pertained to his case, but even he knew those scribbles on the screen were not good. The rhythm was off and every so often he would feel his pacemaker kick in and see the action appear on the screen a second later.

Itachi tore off the readout and stared at it with intense eyes. He used a pen taken from his pocket to scribble several notes on the paper before attaching it to Naruto's chart.

"You're awfully quiet today."

Itachi looked up from the chart. "I'm trying not to get in your business."

"Why not? You are usually ass deep in my business."

"When it comes to your heart, sure." Itachi chuckled dryly and swiveled his stool to stare at Naruto. "But trust me; you don't want my opinion on your personal life right now."

Naruto couldn't keep the pout from forming on his lips. "Fine, whatever."

Itachi made a few marks on the chart. "How has your cough been?"

"How do you know I have one?"

Itachi gave Naruto a look that had him rolling his eyes. How stupid of him to think Itachi wouldn't know everything about him. "It's...persistent. What does it matter? It's a cough."

Itachi rolled his eyes and rolled his stool closer to the exam table. "I need to be serious with you right now, Naruto."

He caught the implication in Itachi's voice and sat up a little straighter. His heart picked up its beats and was quickly displayed on the monitor. "What's wrong?"

"I always hate this part of my job. It's time, Naruto."

"Time? Time for what?"

"You're in congestive heart failure. I think it's time to put your name into UNOS. Things are going to progress more rapidly from here on in."

Naruto's heart stopped, or at least it felt like it. He couldn't breathe and a hand pressed to his chest. He had thought he was prepared for this news, but while finally hearing it, he found himself mentally screaming. He wanted more time.

"Naruto!" Itachi was at his side in an instant, one hand pressing to his back and rubbing in firm strokes. "I need you to calm down. Take slow deep breaths."

Naruto's throat felt closed, but somehow he was able to draw in oxygen in stuttering breaths. Tears burned his eyes and he suddenly wanted Sasuke beside him.

"Listen to my voice. It's fine. Nothing is changed, but I want to go ahead and get your name into the pool. Just be glad you're B-positive instead of AB-negative."

"Sasuke's AB," whispered Naruto mournfully.

"So am I," said Itachi. "But Sasuke isn't on the lookout for a new heart."

"What am I going to do?"

"All I can tell you is what will happen physically and procedurally. As for what you should do concerning Sasuke, that's only something you can answer."

Naruto clenched his hands in the material of his jeans. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Don't tell Sasuke about it."

"Naruto, I would never tell Sasuke anything that I did not know for certain you would want him to know. You don't want him to know, fine, but I've got to tell you, it's only going to get worse from here on in. You're going to get very sick."

"How long?"

Itachi slapped the back of Naruto's head. "You know I don't like giving estimates, but you're going to notice a distinct difference in body. You're going to need someone to help take care of you, Naruto."

"You mean Sasuke?"

"Why did you leave him, Naruto? I know I said I wouldn't pry, but he's dying."

Naruto closed his eyes and the forlorn feeling rising inside him. "That makes two of us."

"That's not funny. You're good for each other. You get him off that damn computer and he brings out the better side of you."

"What are you talking about? All my sides are good."

Itachi arched his brows and folded his arms over his chest. "Don't try to evade with jokes. I've known you long enough to spot them. I just want to know the reason."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Naruto heaved a heavy sigh and slumped back on the exam table. For a long string of seconds he stared at the white ceiling and sought a way to explain to Itachi what he was feeling. It was hard and he barely understood it himself. "I don't want him to have to watch me die."

"You don't want him to watch you die?" repeated Itachi. "So you would rather kill him prematurely?"

Naruto sat up with a start. "No! It's better if we break up now. He won't have to watch me get so sick that I can barely move. He'll get over me."

"Are you so sure about that? Do you think if you weren't sick that you would get over him so easily?"

"That's not the same thing."

"It's pretty damn close," snapped Itachi. "No one knows when they are going to die. I could keel over tomorrow from an aneurysm and that would be it. You still have time. You don't know that you won't get a heart."

"And if I die waiting, or on the table during the surgery?"

Itachi placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I can't predict today or tomorrow or next week. Unlike the belief of some of my colleagues, I am not God. There is an old saying that says to live every day as if it was your last and that holds true regardless of health."

Naruto shook his head sadly. "But is it right to make him suffer worse while watching me die slowly when the end is the same?"

"Did Sasuke say that bothered him?"

"No, but that's not the point. He doesn't realize how bad it could get and I don't think I can bear to see that look in his eyes when he does."

"What look?"

"The look that comes when hope dies. I practically grew up in the hospital. I saw people die. I know that look."

"It didn't bother you before."

Naruto glanced away. "I was fooling myself before."

Itachi leaned back in his chair and began swiveling it from side to side. "Sasuke is not a perfect person. He has flaws like everyone, but I know that he would never get that look in his eyes. I've seen that look too. I saw it when I was in medical school and during my residency and fellowships, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that my brother would never lose hope because you give him hope. You give him energy. There is something about you that makes people want to keep fighting even when they think there isn't a chance in hell of a positive outcome...and when you lose the will to fight, it takes it away from everyone else. If you don't want to see that look in Sasuke's eyes, then I suggest you call him and fix whatever is wrong...because I can guarantee that he has that look right now."

Naruto started and stared at Itachi. The man had no reason to lie. He might mask the truth in a cloud of half-truths and speculations, but he would never lie. He trusted what Itachi told him and the thought that he had put into Sasuke's eyes what he had hoped to keep from them tore at his insides. He felt as if he could die on the spot.

"Is that all?" he whispered.

"I'm going to want to see you more often from now on. Every two weeks instead of once a month." Itachi scribbled out several prescriptions onto a pad and handed it to Naruto. "Here are your medications. I've altered the doses a little. I've also added a prescription for Prozac. It will help with the depression and shouldn't interfere with your medication or your heart disease. But let me know immediately if you start feeling strange or have suicidal thoughts."

"Depression?" Naruto shook his head fervently. "I'm not depressed."

"Don't argue with me. I'm your doctor and you sure as hell are depressed. If the depression didn't cause you to leave Sasuke, leaving Sasuke most certainly caused you to be depressed."

Naruto glared at Itachi, but pocketed the prescription. "Fine."

"Take care of yourself, Naruto, and think about what I said."

Naruto nodded and walked slowly from the office. Hinata shot him a concerned glance as he made his way out the doors. His heart seemed heavy in his chest. Each beat felt like a drum slamming against his breastbone.

He did not even make it far out of the building before stopping and staring at one of the benches lining the walkway. He had sat and talked with Sasuke for the first time there.

His feet were like lead as he trudged to the bench and slumped down. Living felt so very hard in that moment. He missed Sasuke, more than he thought it was possible to miss someone. Even Jiraiya's death had not hit him as hard as being away from Sasuke.

He had thought it best for his lover if they were apart. Sasuke was perfect, even though Itachi countered that thought. Sasuke was perfect in Naruto's eyes.

Rubbing the palms of his hands over his jeans, he tilted his head back to stare at the cloud filled sky. Spring was well and truly here. An occasional cold wind might filter in from time to time, but such was growing rare. He closed his eyes and allowed the sun to warm his skin even if that warmth did not completely reach his soul.

He was almost to a state of semi-relaxation when a soft touch brushed down his cheek. On instinct, he turned into the touch. "Sasuke," he murmured.

Opening his eyes, he found Sasuke standing above him in a long-sleeved t-shirt. There were dark shadows beneath his eyes and his skin looked pallid rather than the natural cream color he had grown fond of.

Staring into his face, Naruto suddenly realized the truth of Itachi's words because those eyes, those beautiful dark eyes, were filled with fear and despair. And he knew he had put it there, not with his illness but with his actions.

"Sasuke...what are you doing here?" he whispered.

"I knew you would be here. I know all your appointment times. Itachi told me I should stay away and let you have space, so I was only going to watch you...but you sat here and I couldn't keep from touching you."

There was such agony in that rich, deep voice that Naruto nearly wept on the spot. He was the cause, but not in the way he had thought he would be. He had imagined he would hear and see that emotion in Sasuke as he lay dying in the hospital, not while he was still able to take care of himself.

"I missed you, so I thought seeing you would help."

Naruto swallowed several times consecutively and still his voice sounded hoarse in his ears as he spoke. "And did it help?"

"No. It only made me miss you more. I miss your laugh. I miss how you groan and moan about the lack of greasy hamburgers and french fries for dinner. I missed you sleeping beside me. I miss everything."

Naruto closed his eyes again as Sasuke's hand began stroking on his cheek again. He could feel the curious looks from several of the pedestrians in the area but could not find the strength to care that they were bearing witness to a private and sweet and painful moment between two men very much in love.

"I missed you too."

"Then come home." Sasuke moved from behind the bench and took a seat at Naruto's side, directly where he had sat those few years ago when they had met. "Come home with me."

"I...can't," whimpered Naruto, and uttering the words very nearly destroyed his heart.

Sasuke placed both hands on Naruto's cheeks and forced him to look him in the eye. "Why?"

"I don't want to hurt you," he said in barely a whisper.

Sasuke maintained the lock of their gazes. "I'm hurting without you."

Naruto closed his eyes for a moment but was unable to maintain the break for he needed to see Sasuke. He was like a drowning man who had finally spotted his life raft. "I don't want you to watch me get really sick and then die. I don't want to destroy you like that."

"You're destroying me now. I'm nothing without you in my life. I love you, Naruto. I know I don't say it often, but I do. I would rather have a limited number of days with you, than to live my entire life without. I don't care how sick you get; I'll be by your side for as long as it takes, because you're going to get a heart."

"You don't know that."

"I know it in my soul. We'll be together no matter what happens. Come home with me, please."

Naruto's eyes teared up and with a cry, the damn inside him that had been put into place upon leaving Sasuke broke and he threw himself into his arms. He could not live without him. Even if he had to watch Sasuke's hope fade, he could not give this up again because he had seen what it brought forth in Sasuke.

He wailed into Sasuke's shirt, drenching it in tears. A few people paused with concern, but Sasuke waved them away. The only two in the world as far as they were concerned was each other.

Naruto held tight to Sasuke as if he would never let him go. He moved closer and closer until he was almost sitting on Sasuke's lap. He wanted to be completely absorbed in his body so that they could be one being like that ancient myth about the beast with two heads, four arms, and four legs that Zeus, in his fear, had split apart and left them to spend the rest of their lives searching for the other.

Soul mates.

"Take me home, Sasuke."

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto was practically shaking as Sasuke led him to the car. All he wanted to do was climb across the gear shift and onto Sasuke, possibly being absorbed into him in the process. Sitting still was a complete impossibility for him. He was hurting with how bad he wanted to just touch Sasuke and to hold him and to be held by him. It was to the point that he felt like an addict searching for his next fix.

The drive to their apartment was short with them only stopping shortly for Sasuke to drop off Naruto's prescription with the pharmacy and arranging to have it delivered later. Naruto thought about going in with Sasuke but opted against it. He would be completely plastered to him and would likely draw more attention than either wanted.

When they finally arrived home, Naruto laced his fingers through Sasuke's and they both continued to touch through the entire elevator ride. He thought about his clothes at the motel and the key still present in his pocket. He wasn't worried. They could pick up what few things he had later. The room was paid for another two days anyway.

The two walked slowly down the hall and as they stood before their door, he noticed that Sasuke's hand was shaking as he inserted the key into the lock. The sight caused the lump in his throat to grow so large, he was amazed he could still breathe around it.

"Sasuke," he whispered, only to have Sasuke turn to him once the door was open and pull him firmly into his arms.

Sasuke's face was buried in his neck and the warm, slightly wet puffs of his breath tickled Naruto's sensitive skin. But he did not shift away. Sasuke could have been pushing a knife into his side and he would not have moved from where he stood. He needed to feel Sasuke pressed against him and wanted to completely disappear inside him. What had he been thinking before? How could he have thought that not being with Sasuke was what was best for both of them? Being away from Sasuke was worse than anything he could imagine.

Sniffling out a gasp, his hands lifted slowly to fist into the material of the shirt and clench tightly enough that he thought he could have possibly ripped the cotton. Not touching some part of Sasuke was inconceivable to him. The tears began to flow again and he felt as if he were drowning in the flood as tracks made their way down his cheeks and fluid dripped from his nose.

Sasuke began shaking fully at this point, his arms refusing to allow Naruto even the slightest bit of maneuvering room, not that he minded. Definite wetness began trickling down his neck and he knew instantly that tears were seeping from Sasuke. The small sobs that began to come from him were all the proof he needed.

No words were spoken as they stood just outside the open door to their apartment where all could see. If any passed, they would see only the beautiful embrace of two people who were wounded and desperately needed the comfort of the other.

Sasuke's head moved to Naruto's shoulder where he dragged his face back and forth over the material of his shirt. When he lifted his face, it was dry of wetness but an unusual blotchiness marred his normally cream-colored skin. Swollen red eyes stared at him, but there was not a tear in sight, so very like Sasuke when Naruto's own face was drenched in his tears and snot dripping from his nose.

"You look like shit," murmured Sasuke as he lifted his hands to wipe at the wetness.

"You're one to talk, ass," retorted Naruto, though there was no bite in his tone, only sadness and love mingling together.

They did not stop touching each other as they walked into the apartment, the latch of the door clicking as it was shut. Both looked as if they had not slept or eaten in days. And to Naruto, Sasuke had never been more attractive.

"I'm sorry."

Sasuke shook his head and trailed his fingers down Naruto's cheek. "No apologies."

Their bodies moved as if puppets on strings, drawn to each other by some sort of unseen pull. When their lips met, it was as if they were kissing for the first time. It was hesitant and gentle—sweetness poured from it and the aches of the past week were gone in that instant. It was a kiss that portrayed every ounce of love felt for each other. It was meaningful and carried not an ounce of lie.

When they finally pulled apart, Naruto's tongue swiped at his lower lip as if imagining he could capture what Sasuke tasted like, even though he tasted like nothing but the faint mint from his toothpaste. He watched Sasuke follow the action and repeated it without thinking.

"Even looking like shit, I still want you," uttered Sasuke.

"Yeah, well, I am irresistible."

Sasuke snorted and tugged Naruto to him, his hands running under his shirt to press against the line of his spine. "Keep talking, wise ass."

"You wanting some dirty talk?" Naruto leaned against Sasuke and closed his eyes. "Maybe Itachi was right. You do bring out the best in me."

He could practically hear Sasuke's eyes roll and chuckled. "It's true."

"If your best is being a wise ass, I would hate to think what your worst is."

Naruto closed his eyes and could not stop the small whimper that escaped. "You've seen the worst."

Sasuke's fingers dug into the skin of his back for a moment before pulling away and leading him through their room and into the bathroom. He ignored the shower and began to fill the overly large tub with water before sitting on the edge and pulling Naruto to stand between his splayed thighs. Naruto's shirt was pushed up and Sasuke pressed his face to the warm flesh, his lips brushing against the downy soft hairs starting just below the navel.

Naruto closed his eyes and sifted his fingers through Sasuke's hair, savoring the way the silky strands felt against his palms. This was not about sex. They'd had sex dozens...hundreds...of times. This was reaffirming what they felt, and showing it to the other. Now, tonight, was about intimacy and rebuilding what had crashed to the ground around them.

With the sound of running water in the background, Naruto allowed Sasuke to push his shirt over his head and sighed as the lips continued to map out the expanse of his chest and abdomen, creating a slow burn in his stomach. He felt the beginning of an erection forming and hummed encouragement to Sasuke, his own hands straying to Sasuke's shoulders, massaging into the brawn of them. He loved the way Sasuke's broad shoulders tapered into a narrow waist and slim hips. Sasuke was one damn fine nerd.

Sasuke reached behind him with a hand, his lips never leaving Naruto's body and shut down the running water. Standing, his hands reached for the button on Naruto's jeans, sliding it free before releasing the zipper and tugging the pants down his legs. Naruto had already toed off his shoes so he was free to step from the material and stand naked before his lover.

"Perfect," he murmured and pressed several kisses on the space over Naruto's heart before unconsciously, or perhaps on purpose, switching to Japanese. The melodic sound of Sasuke's voice speaking a language of which Naruto could understand only a word here or there caused chill bumps to spill over his skin. A bilingual lover was quite the exotic pleasure, and Sasuke had a habit of switching unintentionally between languages when he was overly excited or distressed.

Sasuke pulled away only long enough to shed the remainder of his clothes and step into the tub. Naruto followed him and settled between his thighs with his back to Sasuke's chest. A bath cloth was dipped into the water before fragrant soap was poured and then pressed to Naruto's chest. He released a full body shudder and relaxed against Sasuke.

The heat inside him was being slowly brought to a simmer. The tip of his erection was just barely covered by the top of the warm bathwater and he had no inclination to touch it, choosing instead to savor the build of pleasure between them. All he cared about was maintaining contact with Sasuke.

The cloth was dragged across his skin and he leaned his head back to settle it against Sasuke's shoulder. The soft material of the cloth swirled over his nipples, bringing them to rise and a small gasp to catch in his throat. Sasuke's lips mouthed at the flesh just below his ear and Naruto pressed his hands to Sasuke's thighs, dragging the blunt edges of his nails across the soft skin.

His soul cried out in joy at being able to feel Sasuke like this. Wave after wave of soft pleasure flowed through him. Each movement of Sasuke's lips and tongue on his skin and the soft drag of the bathing cloth drifting low on his abdomen fed the sheer pleasure of the moment.

The hand that held the cloth slid over Naruto's abdomen and then wrapped smoothly around the hardness floating in the weightlessness of the water. Naruto gasped and Sasuke purred a satisfied sound in his ear.

"No more thinking about what will happen," whispered Sasuke. "Tonight is just tonight. There is no tomorrow."

"Are you sure you can make me forget about the future?" asked Naruto teasingly, but with a whisper of truth.

"I think I can handle that."

Sasuke's hand began moving in slow pulls up the hard shaft held firmly in his hand. The cotton of the cloth was almost rough against Naruto's penis, adding texture to the pumping fist. He pressed back against Sasuke's chest and groaned low in his throat.

Naruto wanted to give Sasuke everything, but settled for giving him all of himself. Sasuke was his sanctuary. The future would come in its own time, but for now, every part of him was Sasuke's to do with as he pleased. The warm heat flooding his loins was beginning to build in earnest. His balls felt hard and heavy in the water as they began to draw tight to his body.

Sasuke's second hand dipped beneath the lapping water and cupped the soft orbs, rolling them in his hand and scraping the nails of his fingers along the perineum just behind. Naruto jerked at the touch and gasped out a garbled cry. Sasuke was far too damn good at this and the bastard knew it.

"Feel good?"

"You know it does," panted Naruto as he began to fidget and shift in an effort to facilitate the movement of the hand on his cock.

His eyes closed so tightly that he could have sworn he saw dots dancing behind his eyelids. His chest struggled for breath and his hands clawed at Sasuke's thighs and hips as the heat in his groin reached its peak. 

With head thrown back and a whimpering gasp, his body released itself easily into Sasuke's knowledgeable hands. Sunlight burst through his head, strong and bright. It blocked out every other thought for the duration of a few seconds.

The world around him was slow to return. First there was the sound of his breath panting in and out followed by the lapping of the water in the tub. Sasuke's breath teased his ear and there was a decidedly hard cock pressing against the small of his back.

And he had never been more relaxed in his life.

Sasuke's lips moved slowly down the curve of his neck and nibbled at his shoulder. His hands released their grip on his cock and balls and slide up his chest to stroke at the naturally tanned flesh in a slow and loving gesture. That was the sign of love when the pleasure of one's partner outweighed the need for one's own release.

Naruto's body shivered, the water in the bath already losing its heat. Still, he did not want to leave Sasuke's arms, even if it was just long enough for them to dry their bodies and move to more comfortable places. He wanted to stay right where he was.

"Are you cold?"

Naruto shook his head and turned enough for his lips to brush across Sasuke's in an open mouthed kiss. Their tongues darted out to stroke over each other and their breath mingled.

"Well, I am."

Sasuke tightened his arms around Naruto for an instant before finally urging him to his feet and out of the tub before quickly following him, pulling the knob to drain the tank as he went. A plush towel was tugged from a cabinet and wrapped around Naruto.

Sasuke's hands were efficient as they dried every bit of water from Naruto. He felt almost sleepy and very much loved as Sasuke took care of this menial task. He closed his eyes and sighed happily at the constant touch of Sasuke's hands and fought back the urge to whimper when they were eventually taken away from him.

Sasuke wrapped his hand around Naruto's wrist and led him to their bed. He pressed Naruto down onto the mattress and then took up position beside him. Instead of drawing him into his arms, his lips were pressed to the soft skin on Naruto's neck. He tasted him all over with long, drawn-out kisses. There was not an inch of skin on his torso or abdomen that did not receive a touch from Sasuke. Where his lips did not touch, his hands made up for. They touched and rubbed where lips could not actively reach as if Sasuke was memorizing every inch of Naruto's body. Every freckle and blemish was given attention and locked into memory.

Naruto arched beneath Sasuke's touch. He had never felt as loved as he did now. It was beautiful and painful all rolled up into one sensation.

Sasuke's lips trailed over Naruto's breastbone and down across his abdomen where he nibbled around the flesh of his navel. His warm tongue darted out and dipped playfully into the outie navel, causing Naruto to shift and giggle even while renewed heat began to build once more in the region of his groin. His heart leapt in anticipation of what was to come and he wondered if Sasuke planned to kill him with his loving.

When warmth wrapped around the half-hard length of his slowly renewing erection, he could do no more than gasp out his pleasure at the action. Suckling lips tugged at the tip, followed by Sasuke's warm, wet tongue dipping into the slit while his fingers played with the sensitive flesh just beneath the crown. His mind was going blank and he thought he was going to come again even if it seemed impossible that he would be able to come so soon after orgasming.

He writhed beneath Sasuke, his hips rising to seek deeper penetration into the warm cavern while his head pressed hard back into the downy softness of a pillow. His blood pounded in his veins, rushing to the beat of a far too weak heart. If not for the pacemaker trying valiantly to keep the pace, he might have passed out. He was not frightened though, because he was with Sasuke.

Just as he was certain he was going to come again, Sasuke pulled away and sat back with a satisfied look on his face. His tongue swept sensually over his lower lip and Naruto groaned in need. Sasuke could not imagine how sexy he looked with his hair disheveled and his eyes dilated so that they appeared to be pupiless orbs. His pale skin was flushed with arousal and bobbing thick and needy between his thighs was an angry red cock that just begged to be sucked on.

Naruto might have moved to suck him off, but found Sasuke was having none of that. Suddenly his body was turned so that he lay on his stomach, forced to shift his hips back to keep from laying uncomfortably on his erect penis. He thought he might feel the push of Sasuke's fingers, but went stark still at the warm press of a wet tongue across the crease of his ass.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke hummed low and continued to flick his tongue from perineum to ass and then back again. No bit of skin was left untouched and no amount of restraint could keep the sounds from rumbling from Naruto's throat. He bit into the pill and gasped out his pleasure while pressing back into Sasuke's face in a silent demand for more. His body was reacting with deep and almost shocking passion. He wondered off-handedly if he could come from being rimmed without a single touch to his actual penis. All he could do was savor the pleasure of the act, not bothering to withhold any sound rising in his throat for he knew Sasuke loved the sound of his pleasure.

Hands gripped his hips and pulled him into a more easily accessible angle and the lips continued, occasional dabbing into the tight pucker just enough to make Naruto cry out and press back. His heart could not take it. He was going to die from the pleasure rocketing through him.

"Sasuke," came the plea and Naruto could not believe that was his voice that he heard in his ears. Did he really sound that needy?

Sasuke panted and lifted his face from his task. Instead of the usual teasing that he expected, the cool press of slick fingers replaced the warmth of a tongue. Apparently he was not the only one skirting the edge of his control.

The fingers pressed inside enough to spread the lube and test the pliancy of his ass before the hot thick press of Sasuke's penis teased his opening. A groan was released simultaneously from them as Sasuke pressed inside. It was not complete pleasure. The first thrust always stung a bit, and the prep was barely more than basic. But the discomfort was fleeting as his body quickly adjusted and sucked the thickness inside.

He could feel his muscles contracting around Sasuke and was helpless to stop them. It felt like a lifetime since he was immersed in the feeling of having Sasuke inside him, though in reality it had only been a few days.

"You okay?" panted Sasuke.

Naruto nodded, his mouth open but no sound escaped. Sasuke pulled back slowly and then slid back inside. The muscles willingly parted and both gasped with the sensation. He gasped out a garbled sound that could have been Sasuke's name, but he was not sure.

Sasuke's hands stroked over his flanks and down his thighs in soothing motions as he gave slow deep thrusts, never speeding up. Sweat began to bead on their flesh, some of it dripping down to splatter on the bed and still Sasuke maintained his slow loving.

One of Sasuke's hands slipped around to fondle his erection, tugging at the foreskin and rubbing firmly on head. Naruto's body grew taut and he began panting in earnest. His heart struggled to keep up with the demands of his body and his throat contracted as it became impossible to breath. Spots danced before his eyes as the intensity of another orgasm washed over him almost unexpectedly. 

Naruto whimpered and pressed his head down into the pillow. Tears gathered in his eyes and spilled over and the perfect feeling of this moment. The only thing that could make it better was seeing Sasuke's face as he came.

His prayer was answered as Sasuke withdrew from him and he was urged away from the cum that had shot onto the sheets and arranged onto his back. Sasuke's hands looped beneath his knees and tugged his legs up to rest on his shoulders as he lined up his penis and was back inside Naruto once again.

Both of them cried out and Sasuke no longer appeared as completely in control as he had minutes before. His lips were pulled back in a snarl and his hips pumped frantically into him. He could only lay and gape at the expressions playing across his lover's face. Need. Love. Desperation. They were beautiful and he felt very blessed in that moment to bear witness to what he saw.

Sasuke froze and gave a breathless cry before shuddering against him. His hips gave a few sharp thrusts and then two weaker pumps before he collapsed against Naruto with his face buried in his neck. His breath was hot and damp against the flesh of his neck but Naruto could not find the will to pull away.

His heart hurt and struggled to find a rhythm, attempting futilely to match the powerful pumps coming from Sasuke where their chests lay firmly pressed to each other.

"Sasuke," breathed Naruto and his arms lifted to wrap around him. "I love you."

Never before had he meant the words to the degree that he did in that moment. The sex was a minor expression of what they felt. It only gave physicality to what both felt in their very beings.

"Me too," answered Sasuke breathlessly.

The words were different, but there was no less meaning in them. Tears leaked from Naruto's eyes and he buried his face against Sasuke. He had cried so much, but these tears were not of pain or anguish. They were yet another physical expression of his love. Without Sasuke, he was merely a shadow of what he could be.

Sasuke pulled back when Naruto gave a watery whimper, his eyes searching for pain on his face. "Are you alright? Is it your heart?"

"Yes, but not in the way you think."

Sasuke cocked his head and rolled from Naruto's body. They were messy, covered in cum and sweat and tears. The heavy scent of release hung thickly in the air around them. 

And everything felt absolutely perfect to him.

"Then what do you mean?" asked Sasuke.

"I'm just happy that you want to be with me even with all my flaws."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and trailed a finger down Naruto's cheek, following an invisible trail until it stopped over the slight bump of the pacemaker hidden below his skin and just above his weak heart. "As far as I'm concerned, you don't have any flaws worth mentioning. If you mean your heart, then I beg to differ. Your heart is failing, but I will make sure that you live at any cost. It is not a flaw."

Naruto grinned and matched Sasuke's rolling of eyes. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about the future other than what is happening right now."

Sasuke opened his mouth, but was silenced by Naruto's kiss. The warm, wet glide of their tongues tempted them into a sense of peace and forgetfulness.

Naruto pulled away and settled his head on Sasuke's chest. Contrary to his words, the back of his mind was filled with thoughts of the future and what Itachi had confirmed with him that very day. The end was coming fast and there was still so much left that he wanted to do and so much he was probably going to miss.

"We need to take another bath."

Nearly asleep, Naruto lifted his head and blinked lazily at Sasuke. "I'm too tired."

"You're going to regret that when you wake up with dry cum on your ass."

Naruto yawned and snuggled closer to Sasuke. "You put it there, so I'll make you clean me up tomorrow."

Sasuke growled and shifted away from Naruto and off the bed. There was the sound of water running in the sink before the touch of a warm cloth on his ass roused him again."

"I don't want to hear you griping in the morning."

A lazy grin spread across Naruto's lips and he stretched out on his stomach to allow Sasuke easier access to his ass. He felt the brush of lips on his shoulder as the touch of the slightly rough cloth disappeared and was replaced once again by the stroke of a warm tongue. He whimpered and shifted under the assault, savoring the pleasure the act brought with it.

"Sasuke?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't think I could get hard even if I wanted to."

Sasuke sat back and blew lightly on the opening of his anus, causing Naruto to shudder. "I know."

"Then why are you doing that?"

Sasuke gave a few retreating licks before sitting back and curling against him. "Because it feels good to you."

Naruto gave a happy purr. "What about you?"

"When you're happy, then I'm happy."

A devious grin began to spread across Naruto's features. "Does that mean you'll let me eat whatever I want to make me happy?"

"Not on your life."

Naruto pouted and turned to face Sasuke. "Please?"

Sasuke settled on the bed and tugged Naruto to him. "Go to sleep."

A grin spread across his face and he pressed into Sasuke's chest. Their happiness was tainted by the uncertain future they faced, but some happiness was better than none in Naruto's book.

oOo

Naruto sighed happily as he stepped from the shower. In the past several weeks, he had never felt better in his life. True, his body was growing weaker, but being with Sasuke was more satisfying than ever. He hid his cough and his increasing weakness from his lover as much as he could, but feared it would not be long before there would be no hiding.

Itachi growled at him about keeping his decline from Sasuke, but kept his word to withhold the information from his brother. He was a professional first and foremost, but he was also a friend and he understood that Naruto wanted things to remain nice for as long as possible before reality wormed into their lives.

Tugging on a t-shirt and a pair of loose fitting jeans, he stood in front of the mirror and toweled his hair dry before sitting on the bed and flipping on the television while he checked his email on the laptop that Sasuke had gotten him. It had that new Windows 8 operating system, which pissed him off to no end. If he wanted to deal with apps, he would dig out the iPad that in the drawer by the bed. He considered having the system downgraded back to the previous version of Windows, but decided against it.

A sigh escaped and he was unable to stop the small reminder of his illness as another cough threatened to spill over. He muffled it with a hand until the urge finally eased. His heart skipped a beat and the firing of his pacemaker caused him to wince at the static-like shock. 

He lifted a hand to his chest with a sigh. He had made a promise to himself that he would live every day to its fullest. It was harder some days than others, but while he could he would do his damnedest. Sasuke deserved nothing less. He still did not believe he would receive a heart, but he did not mind allowing Sasuke that hope.

Running a hand through his now dry hair as he sent off his last email to Temari, he closed the top and walked into the living room. Instead of seeing Sasuke plucking away at his writing, he noticed Sasuke asleep and grinned.

Today was going to be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter leads directly into the Gift. I hope you all enjoy this final chapter. :)


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